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Lover I Don't Have To Love
.... a place for teenage angst and a rocket man
Recent Entries 
21st-Nov-2030 01:52 pm - No longer active.....sort of
Amy Gardner ORLY
Obviously, I don't post here regularly any more. I use this account more for posting in other communities. But I still check the messages if you try to contact me.
4th-Mar-2010 03:28 pm(no subject)
Amy Gardner ORLY
Blah. First week back at university and I have a cold. So much for studying all day - even *I'm* sick of the sound of my own sniffing. The worst part? No exercising - not when I can't breathe out of my nose.
I just feel so...blah. Not really happy with how I look. Three of my friends are about to move overseas. No boyfriend, let alone a crush. I'm beginning to wonder if I exist.
11th-Dec-2009 01:46 pm(no subject)
Amy Gardner ORLY
Yesterday was a perfect summer day. *Blue* sky, bright sunshine. Windy enough to ensure that it wasn't sweltering hot, which it was, in Brisbane. Usually, this would bother me, but I'm not there! It was so bright and lovely that if you squinted, everything was reduced to block colors - yellow sand, aqua water, blue sky.
I had a pink cupcake for lunch.

Today may be even prettier. The sun isn't really around. Instead, the sky is dusty blue and the water is dark and has blues and greys going through it. I think it's prettier this way. This afternoon, as the sun goes down, I'll be able to see pinks and oranges and reds and yellows and blues and purples, just above the horizon. It's the 'ands' that make it so pretty. There's layers and mixtures of colours and the thing that makes it so pretty is that fact that there are so many colours, just sitting there in the sky.

I love the salty smell. I hope I never just 'get used to it' and stop noticing it.

I've spent the morning reading books and magazines and looking at pretty fashion editorials.

I think this afternoon, I'll bake a cake.

I don't want to go home tomorrow. There's nothing pretty there :( Just ordinary and usual.
4th-Dec-2009 02:56 pm(no subject)
Amy Gardner ORLY
Things I will do this summer:

- Read 'The Picture of Dorian Gray'
- Listen to the Goldberg Variations 100 times.
- Train myself to wake up more quickly and to immediately stretch out.
- Take more photographs.
- Follow up on plans (ha).
- Apply for a new job.

More things to be added as a I think of them
3rd-Dec-2009 03:01 pm(no subject)
Amy Gardner ORLY
I'm 22 today. Not sure how I feel about this, but today has actually been a good day. Beach, shopping, chilling. I like it.

I got totally weird this morning when my parents wanted to do presents. Work that out. My parents want to give me things and I'm so awkward and anxious about the centre of attention that I was actually snappy and weird. I don't understand me sometimes.
Anyway, my mother is so thoughtful and had paid attention to things I'd said I liked and bought them and I just...I almost cried. In a good way.

In short, I scored.
16th-Nov-2009 07:15 pm - Doctor Who - Waters of Mars
Amy Gardner ORLY
Wow. So that's the end of happy-doctor forever? That was pretty dark, to say the least. I've always thought that about Ten, in particular, that he is often so boarderline and so arbitrary in his decisions and how they affect time, and we've always taken it to be "he knows what he's doing - he's a LORD of TIME". But now we have to wonder... has he known the whole way along? What code was he using? Take Pompeii....how did he *know* that it was okay to rescue that family? Or was he making it up as he went along there too?
Or, is his grief finally catching up with him? It hasn't been an easy road, to say the least, and the combination of what he had to do to Donna, coupled with the fact that Rose is living forever in the alternate universe, with someone who isn't him may have just pushed him too far. The universe has never given him anything, so it seems, so why not just rule it?
Ten has always been willful. If he wants something to happen, he makes it happen. If he doesn't like something, then he makes sure it is known. Usually this is played for laughs, but this determined streak, this almost child-like stubbornness could be his downfall?
David Tenant may just be one of the finest actors of our generation. The emotion he brings to his performance - the depth and craziness? My jaw actually dropped during his final scenes with Adelaide.

Adelaide was beautifully played and just...a wonderful female character, with depth and drive and the look of realization on her face in the final scenes, before she walked into her house almost broke my heart.

More to come.
11th-Nov-2009 09:26 pm(no subject)
Amy Gardner ORLY
Stuck right in the middle of exam block. Literally. Two down, two to go. For some reason, I feel like I've done okay. I really want to do well in the exam I did today. I feel like I did well on Monday, it's a pity that wasn't really weighted that heavily.
Proeprty on Saturday - can't give a shit about the subject, I'm only putting effort so that I don't have to do it again (if that makes sense?). Then one on Monday (oh my god I haven't one any work on that exam and it's three essays.) Dear lord, Sunday will be a drama.

Then I'm done!
But I can't burn out before then.

I *think* I like Bad Romance, by Lady Gaga....?
The video is growing on me. But I like her better when she's a little more put together. I can't help it. I like everyone more when they're put together.

Experimenting with black eyeliner, and wings. Only thin amounts. Ha.

I think I'm a little bit over my job. Finally. It's only taken 3-ish years. Just recenty, people have been far too rude and demanding and hard-work and just....it's getting to me. I don't get paid enough to take shit there, certainly not the levels that have been dealt at me lately and I don't think it's a case of me being too sensitive. But I'm sick of feeling under-appreciated and like shit at the end of shifts, shifts that I used to like. I think I want a job that matters less. Where people get slightly less hysterical. Dammit, I just want to wear pretty skirts and heels and make up and just flit around.

I've discovered Tumblr. I fear I will post more on there now.

Back to study! Only 5 more days of it!
5th-Nov-2009 08:07 pm(no subject)
Amy Gardner ORLY
It's raining and stormy right now. I love it.
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